Day 44

Day 44 middle of nowhere to Low Row still in the Dales. Rained most o f the day but I’m still blown away by the scenery will certainly visit again.A consultant visits a building site and the foreman shows him around accompanied by a labourer,every time the foreman wants something done he shouts at the labourer Donkey move this Donkey shift that Donkey clear that out of the way.The consultant is a little upset and calls the labourer to one side and quietly asks him why the foreman calls him Donkey,the labourer replies that even he doesn’t know why but says He awh He awh He awhlways calls me that.

Day 43

Day 43 and off into the Yorkshire Dales some of the most beautiful scenery imaginable.Wild camped in a farmers field in the middle of nowhere with a few sheep for company.

Day 38 – 40

Days 38 to 42 are all about family and reminded me of just how blessed I am Monday met with Karen Brenda and Michelle and had a lovely evening catching up Tuesday stayed overnight at beloved mother in laws house. Wednesday got picked up by my dear sister Noreen and had the most special of evenings with my wife and amazingly lovely sisters.Thursday had a great night with Noreen fish and chips and early night?and Friday night spent with Noreen and great friends of old Teresa and Mary. Saturday watched Lions draw the series with the all blacks with cool nephew Josh ably assisted by Chief Chef Kathryn x Anyway now walking through the amazing Yorkshire Dales on the second half of this most enjoyable journey.

Day 34

Day 34 walked on the roads from Lichfield to Abbots Bromley rained all day but waterproofs held out about 95%.Cannot be this near Stoke and not mention my much loved departed father in law and remember an occasion we were on our way to see City vs Stoke and we’re plus minus 65 and 40 respectively we had two full blown mansize bananas in the car with us (as was normal for a city supporter in those days)and waved away to lots of similar minded souls on their way to the match with their own bananas on full view   ⚽  ⚽ 

Day 33

Day 33 left the joys of Birmingham and walked the country roads to Lichfield with its beautiful cathedral 17 miles so feet suffering profusely but stayed in decent accommodation so able to recover.Two out of work Irish men looking at job adverts Paddy says to Mick maybe we should go to Canada they are looking for tree fellers Mick says sure we would be no good to them there’s only two of us .

Day 32

Day 32 stayed in Birmingham at the house of horrors(only place available so desperate measures)suffice it to say that when I went to sleep I would end up as a bit part player in Saw 3 or with some of my organs taken to be sold off by some seedy characters for a discount price.Anyway we survived and we move on.

Day 31

Day 31 now off the canal and walking through the inner parts of Birmingham not the prettiest of places lots of rubbish on the streets and very gloomy weather (Not Birminghams fault)but plenty of walking done . Tomorrow intersting stopover to report.  

Day 30

Day 30 still on the canal interesting world of its own people on holiday people whose work if full te on the canal,and other very fascinating people who have just dropped out.Need to study this more.

Day 29

And so day 29 walked from Western Subedge to Stratford upon Avon where I was blessed to meet with one Hannah Thurtell and husband Bruce had a wonderful evening with John and the guys.We met again on Sunday morning and Jeff and Sheila arrived and we had a nice morning wandering around Stratford.Said our goodbyes and resumed our walk along the Stratford canal towpath checking out all the barges and chatting with the bargees a lovely afternoon walk.Met with wonderful couple Jonathan and Karen who gracefully allowed us to Wild camp on a small piece of land that they owned.Many thanks you two.

Day 28

Day 28 Cleveland Hill Weston-super-Mare Subedge passed the one third milestone of 333 miles as we passed through Broadway.Paddy goes into pub and orders 3 pints of Guiness for many months,the barman is fascinated and eventually asks Paddy why such a routine.Paddy laughs and tells the barman that his two brothers left for America and they agreed that he would drink a guiness for each of them every day.This goes on for a while until suddenly the routine changes and Paddy suddenly starts to order just two pints this now becomes the new routine and eventually the barman approaches Paddy to delicately ask if one of his brothers has died.No says Paddy nothing at all like that it’s me I’ve given up drinking.

Day 27

Day 27 and walked from middle of nowhere to Cleeve Hill about 13 painful miles still it was nice to stay under roof instead of a field with a cold water hosepipe for a an Irish man goes into a bar and the barman says what would you like , the man says a pint of beer and the barman serves it.The Irish man gets up to go and the barman says you haven’t paid and the man says no way you asked me what I wanted so you must pay yourself. The barman throws the man out and warns him not to come back again.
Next day the same man comes in again and the barman says you out I’m not serving and the Irish man asks why ? The barman says you were hear yesterday and I know your tricks so out you go,the Irish man denies ever having been there before and the barman looks very carefully at him and says in that case you must have a double very kind of you sir says the Irish man I’ll have a double whiskey.

Day 26

And so day 26 walked from Wickwar to as it was described to us as the middle of nowhere but might have been Horsley.What a day met Ben who managed the Fostons Ash and Dave the farmer what a guy 84 years young we sat and chatted and took just a little drink I could have sat up all night.Dave had done Lejog on a tractor with a lot of other farmers and had so many tales to tell sooooo intersting.

Day 25

Day 25 what a day roasting hot walked from Sodding Chipbury to Horsley . surprise saw someone taking a video and turned out to be goood friend Jeff who travelled a distance to meet up and spend some time with us catching up and making sure all was ok.Thanks Jeff and by way we also passed the 300 miles covered so far.

Day 24

Day 24 walked from Wick to Chipping Sodbury or Sodding Chipbury ,beautiful town with long market Street. Weather very hot but much better than cold and wet so on we go.

Day 23

Day 23 walked from Bath to Wick tough seriously hot weather 30 degrees +.Met with some lovely people at the Carpenters Arms Wick.Thanks Tracey and Mark thanks Caroline and Roy.And so a man walks into a bar with a piece of tar under his arm and tells the barman a pint for me and one for the road !

Day 22

Ok day 22 walked from Shepton Mallet to Bath.Lovely historic town with the Cathedral and Roman baths but I think also showing the results of neglect in terms of the people and the overall cleanliness of the place.Walked into the centre and asked someone where the nearest boozer is and he replied your talking to him.  

Day 21

Day 21 stayed at the Bear Inn in Street looked after Soooooooooo well thanks Danni we won’t forget you.Today walked to Shepton Mallet and completed 250 miles or one quarter of our 1000. Yes myself and my good friend John have attained a milestone and hears to the next 750.Its fair to say that my toes look like 10 blind cobblers thumbs and I have pains in places that I did not even know that even know I had places but we go on tomorrow to Bath and beyond.

Day 20

Day 20 walked from outside Nether Stowey to Bridgewater no accommodation so walked on towards Glastonbury of the musical festival fame.Only option was our first wild camp so to cut a long story short we camped in a field with four sheep or two each but that’s another story.Tomorrow Glastonbury or bust.

Day 18

Here we go day 18 Blue anchor bay to Nether Stowey beautiful coastal walk with lots of photographs to remember it.Irishman goes to see a ventriloquist and after a while the act starts making fun of the Irish.Paddy gets very upset and eventually stands up and shouts out,stop saying are stupid I’ll have you know that some of the world’s greatest poets and writers are Irish and he names James Joyce Jonathan Swift etc etc the ventriloquist starts to apologise and Paddy says Heh I’m not talking to you I’m talking to the little fooker sat on you knee.

Day 17

And so day 17 walked from Porlock to Blue anchor bay a few miles beyond Minehead.So 200 miles done and only 800 to go feeling good and ready to rock. Sad news the guy who invented the Hokey Cokey one Fred Nautkins died and they had a problem burying him when they tried to put him in his coffin they put his left leg in…….then the fun began.

Day 15

along road walk from Barnstaple to Lynton +- 18 miles.Lucky to have found a wonderful B&B run by vegans so looking forward to my first vegan food.Which strangely enough brings me back to Paddy and Mick when Paddy wins a toilet brush at bingo he is very pleased with himself and when he sees Mick a few days later Mick asks how he is doing with his new toilet brush.Paddy says he is still not sure about it and is considering going back to using paper.

Day 14

Ok day 14 two weeks and +- 160 miles on track according to the plan.Today walked from Westward Ho along the Tarka trail (Tarka the Otter) to Barnstaple a benign walk compared to previous days beautiful trail with marshlands all the way blessed to be here.Which reminds me for some strange reason of the three Jewish guys who decided that they wanted to spice up their lovemaking so agreed to do something different and report the following day.

On reporting back the first one says guys I made love to my wife and she screamed for half an hour.Impressed the second one says well I went home and made love to my wife and she screamed for an hour.The third one says I went home made love to my wife and she screamed for six hours,the other two are very impressed and say Wow what did you do and the guys says actually the lovemaking only lasted three minutes but then I wiped my willy on the curtains.   ?

Day 13

Well day 13 and what a day,election day in the UK we stayed at Clovelly last night and walked 13 miles to Westward Ho all well got soaked and burned by nettles for most of the walk but used my childhood knowledge and used dock leaves to treat the nettle burns and a seriously hot shower to dry myself up.Which reminds me for some strange reason of Paddy and Mick when Mick told Paddy that he was thinking of buying a labradorand Paddy said fook I wouldn’t have you seen how many of their owners go blind.

Day 11

Ok let’s do day eleven wow the toughest days walking ever up hills and across cliff faces with the most wonderful scenery possible.The trouble was wind like you could not believe and gusts that took you off your feet.Anyway we survived and said gòodbye for now to Cornwall thank you lovely place and people.Stayed last night in a Youth hostel in Elmscott seems strange saying “youth”when the average age of the three occupants must have been 66 myself John and a70 year old retired school teacher called Charlie who is busy cycling from lands end to john o groats.

For some reason all of this got me thinking of Pat and Mick who bought a sandwich shop to try and make their did not do so well so after a while Pat says to Mick we are not going to make any money like this let’s shut it down and make it a brothel and Mick says fook Paddy if we can’t get them to buy sandwiches how the hell will we get them to buy soup.

Day 10

Let us discuss day 10 up at 5 this morning on the road @ 0630 pissed down as only the English weather can.Arrived in Bude having met some really nice people on the way.

Food tip
Take a bread roll slice in half put some cheese slices and cheese and onion crisps close and eat let’s try and keep this between us or they will be trying to get me on Australian Master Chef but try it.Tomorrow we head for Elmscott about another 12 miles.

Day 9

Day nine cracked first one hundred miles only nine hundred to go,many thanks to Nicola and Steve at Beaver cottages outside Tintagel.Walked along coastal path to the other side of Boscastle and hoping to get to Bude tomorrow.Just seen a pair of jump leads at the bar and incredibly the barman said he would serve them as long as they don’t start anything.

Day 8

And so day eight Wadebridge to Tintagel 14 painful miles but other wise apart from beautiful villages and clifftop scenery (ref to webpage)not a lot to comment on so I will discuss a couple of other matters of concern.
1 breakfast pasty prepare pastry ready to cook put on 1 sausage 1 slice of bacon with no fat 1 sliced hard boiled egg and some beans fashion pastry into pasty shape and cook until ready I will say no more just try it.
2 When packing your medicines for travel at all costs keep your deep heat and haemorrhoids ointment as far away as possible from each other.

Day 7

Would you believe day 7 stayed at really nice campsite last night called music water really nice friendly family orientated .Walked today to Wadebridge and met elderly chap on the road and asked him distance to the next village.He looked at me as if I had just stepped of a spaceship and said are you walking so I put my fingers to my lips and said sshhhhhh no I’m swimming I just carry a 14 kg backpack hiking boots and gear to fool the thought police.7 days and 75 miles so far so good roll on tomorrow.  

Day 6

Ok day six camped outside Newquay last night and met the most romantic taxi driver ever completely unsolicited told myself and John how he missed sex whys that we asked in unison.Well he said oi used to have sex every noight didn’t matter he says I used to get home at any toime of night jump on and arter a whoile jump off and then sleep can’t do that now he says if I tried it she’d f%^k me up God I miss those times.Anyway we have had a good weather long day and are camping outside Padstow (pretty much too plan) tomorrow onwards and upwards.

Day 5

Day five stayed at a B&B in St Agnes with a wonderful 92 years young lady who informed us that she could not join us for supper as she was off to her alternative bridge evening. (Which she proceeded to win with her partner Viva spirit with age)Walked along the South Western path from St Agnes to close to Newquay holiday town which reminds me of the young boy who asks his grandfather if he can make a sound like a frog the grandfather answers yes but why do you ask and the boy says because he had heard his mom and dad saying that they all could have a holiday to Disney world when grandad croaks .All well feeling good to go tomorrow will report accordingly. 

Day 4

Day four Gwithian to St Agnes what have I ever done to deserve pain like this.I am 78 kilograms of pain reminds me of the Irish man who went to the doctors saying his whole body was in pain,he poked his shoulder and screamed with pain he poked lots of different parts of his body and each time screamed even louder What’s wrong doc he said it must be really serious.The doctor says you daft bastard Paddy you’ve broken your finger.And so the walk mostly along South Western coastal path stunningly beautiful scenery (see website )and both blessed to be here and able to do it.

Day 3

Hi day three after a rough wet day yesterday we lucked out and found a b&b in St Ives great place great people running it called Cornerways , Apparently John slept in the same bed as Daphne Du Maurier and dreampt good things on his way to Manderlay.As for me i passed by a field with two cows looking at each other nose to nose,one cow went mooòoooo and the other one said hey I was just going to say that.Tonight camping in Gwithian tomorrow walking to Perranporth.

Day 2

Ok please focus day two camped last night at Rugby club in St Just up at six this morning and asked man who ran the site if it would take long to walk to Zennor.
He looked up in the air and said oh oh oh (not a good sign in my books)it feels loike a long way eveninacar …that’s all oi can say.Not the best of motivation but anyway we set off and got to Zennor but I told John I could not stay there as I was already getting a phobia.So we carried on and as we got to St Ives I realised it must have been a touch of Zennorphobia so all was well.So here we are in St Ives and John has informed me that the much awaited website is now available @ am in serious pain but will be ready to go tomorrow.

Day 1

And so day one walking along the South West Pathway ouch sore uphill down dale (punishment)but lovely scenery.Sat at bar in St Just nice people and even nicer Guiness really looking forward to first night in tent maybe.